Fractured
Fractured, embracing our imperfections.
We all are fractured one way or another mentally or physically.I want this to be a away of coming together and embracing each other through telling my story, there stories , speakers , interviews and so on.
Fractured
Resilience through the generations. Women of Strength.
Have you ever wondered how the traits of resilience and determination are passed down through generations? Join us for an intimate roundtable discussion featuring the remarkable women of my wife's family—Dominator, G. Unit, K., and Skeletor—as we explore the powerful legacy of strength that defines them. Jean shares touching stories of their mother and grandmother's perseverance, while Dominator and K. discuss how their inherited stubbornness and emotional complexity have shaped their lives. Skeletor's unique challenges offer a poignant look at the influence of generational traits on our daughters.
This episode also takes us on an emotional journey through cherished family memories, highlighting the indomitable spirits of Aunt Betty and Nana. Chloe's heartfelt recount of her mother Leas resilience against domestic abuse and societal pressures is a stirring reminder of the courage that resides within these women. As we celebrate the impactful women in our lives, I reflect on my pride in being part of this legacy and share exciting updates about our podcast, including upcoming events and our milestone of 250 downloads. Spread the word, be kind, and let's honor the strong women who shape our world.
Remember, be good to one another
Hey folks, this is your host, patrick the Alien. You know, the one with the brain trauma. This is where we confront the ups and downs of life. It's like therapy, without all those silly licenses and certifications. I thought we'd try something a little different. This week we're going to do a roundtable discussion. We're going to get rid of all the silly nonsense of the transcripts and go off-road.
Speaker 1:The topic this week is going to be my wife's family, the legacy of the strengths of the women of that family. We have a couple generations represented here this evening on this podcast. I have my wife and my sister-in-law and my niece and my daughter, better known as Dominator and G-Unit and Fluffinutter and Skeletor. I sent out some questionnaires to some of the ladies in the family that are on the West Coast and up north. It was at last minute, so I wasn't able to get everything back. That's my fault. I want to apologize to some of the family for that. I was able to get a couple of them back and I'm going to share those with you tonight. I really got some great answers back. I can't wait to share those with you.
Speaker 1:I think this is going to be quite interesting. These are powerful women that we're going to talk about tonight and the legacies of them. I think there's going to be a lot of things that you're going to find interesting, and we're going to change one of the names on one of our characters because she doesn't like her name anymore. You know, after five seconds of being called Fluffernutter, we're going to change her name to Kay you can hear her laughing. So the name formerly known as Fluffernutter is now known as Kay.
Speaker 1:Feel free to call her Special Kay if you want Special Kay, or you can just call her Kay. Okay, folks, let's get on with it. I'm going to start with a prompt for the ladies and then I'm going to let them go from there. Ladies, and this is for the first generation, my wife and sister-in-law what traits do you believe have been passed down from your mother and your grandmother, passed down to you, your daughters and the granddaughters that you can see? You know plainly.
Speaker 4:Go ahead, Jean, you've got granddaughters.
Speaker 3:Determination. For sure, nana and Mom both were really determined to get things done. Whether they needed to do them themselves or not, they did everything they could to get things done. Whether they needed to do them themselves or not, they did everything they could to get it done. Nana raised five kids in a two-bedroom house so that taught her kids strength and determination and Mom passed that on to us kids and that's trickled down to my daughter and my granddaughter.
Speaker 1:How about you, Dominator?
Speaker 4:I got stubbornness, stubbornness.
Speaker 1:Definitely stubbornness.
Speaker 3:I got that trait too, I got stubbornness.
Speaker 4:I learned that there's not always one way to do something. You can accomplish many, many things by just thinking and working different ways. Not everything needs to be easy. It's not going to be easy. You just figure out how to get it done and you just get it done. My mom has done a lot on her own for a while, I feel. What do you think?
Speaker 3:yeah, she did. She had two small children to raise after her first divorce, her first marriage. She lost her husband in a car accident when she was only 18 yep, so she came through that and um her. Her other husband was an alcoholic, yes, he was, so when she divorced him she had you and Randy, small kids to raise, and then she met dad and he had Pat Correct, so she had to take on another child Yep, she made it all work, plus she had fosters. Oh Lord, yeah.
Speaker 4:That she did, and I mean there were so many foster kids coming in through our house there was. She worked and she came home and she cooked and she cleaned. She did it all because that's what women did back then. She did.
Speaker 3:I'll never be as good as she was. That's how I feel. I'll never be as good as Mom ever was at anything, because she never quit. No, she never quit, yeah, no she didn't.
Speaker 4:I mean, I'm pretty close.
Speaker 1:but Right Skeletor. I want to get to you in a second. But, kay, because you also have a daughter, the next generation, you have anything that you can see, that's been passed down from grandma to you, that you can also, that's been passed down from grandma to you, that you can also see in your daughter.
Speaker 2:From grandma. Grandma, I would say it could be bad and good. We're very emotional, but also emotionless as well.
Speaker 4:So it could go both ways. Grandma wasn't very emotional.
Speaker 2:No, but mom is, hannah is, I am, but also on the flip side of that, it's just like there's also that. Well, I'm not going to cry over this, I'm just going to move on and get over it.
Speaker 4:That's how right. So it can go both ways and that's what I got from my mother. Is that I'm not very emotional?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm emotional. I think Hannah's more, I think Hannah's both that as well, because sometimes she doesn't care. Sometimes she cares a lot.
Speaker 4:I'm not very emotional. She used to be emotional, but she's not like that anymore no she's more like her grandma all the time.
Speaker 1:I would say she's become more like her grandmother all the time that's probably why we don't get along now.
Speaker 3:Let me ask you all the time that's probably why we don't get along.
Speaker 1:Now let me ask you, Skeletor I love Skeletor, my daughter, by the way With you being, I don't want to say, a special situation, but with whatever struggles you've had to go through in your life, only with your medical condition, do you feel like the strengths from your grandmother has helped you or hindered you, or has it helped you in any way?
Speaker 5:I mean, I think probably help because it's mom's like grandma and mom doesn't let things bother her or not, in the moment she's. I think mom is emotional, but she's never going to be like that in front of you. She's going to deal with what's in front of you.
Speaker 4:You got it, you got it, you do, you got to deal with it. And then that's.
Speaker 5:That's for later. You deal with the emotion of it later and I think, as I've gotten older, I'm more like that. When I was younger I would deal with it, but I was emotional about it, and now I've just figured out how to kind of put that aside, which comes from grandma, but I learned it from mom, I think.
Speaker 3:I think, that comes with age, because I used to cry at the drop of a hat. Now I will deal with whatever I need to deal with and I will cry behind closed doors like nobody hardly sees me cry anymore.
Speaker 4:Well, so okay. So that's true, because I haven't seen you cry in a hot minute like I yeah but I very rarely ever cry I've never, really been a crier kelly is.
Speaker 1:I've always told everybody because everybody goes past the go-to guy and the family was like, no, kelly's the rock. Yeah, I've always called Kelly the rock. Kelly's always been the foundation and I've always felt that way. She's you're well. Yeah, you are the dominator, most definitely, but uh, I would. I want to share with you a couple of the responses I've gotten from other members of the family, your cousin Donna, the response that I got from the question that I sent to her. It says I've been thinking and I do think that I'm a strong woman Between my mom and Nana, not to mention a few aunts who demonstrate to me, and that's a statement that aunt betty has said more times I can, I can care to count. I've I remember so many times and weigh the good against the bad when making decisions about your life, and then I always stress that no one was better than you. Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. So even if my emotion, I'm sorry, so even if I'm emotional a lot, I tend to get through. I hope that helps make sense. I it does to me.
Speaker 1:I've heard, I've heard a lot about Nana and this family. I always wish I could have known her. I know she was a strong woman as well. I appreciate Donna for taking part in this. It's like I know Aunt Betty very well. I got to know her very well over the years. She had no problem letting me know who she was and how it was going to be every time we were together. So I miss her dearly. I miss Uncle Bob dearly. She was a great woman and she was a fiery spirit and she will be dearly missed. Uh, your aunt Leah, who I've heard stories about. Uh, how do you feel when you hear that about your aunt Betty?
Speaker 4:Oh, that's normal. That describes her Like I can just. I've heard her say hey, sarah, sarah, plenty of times.
Speaker 3:Nana was very strong she was. Betty's thing was if you can't do anything about it, don't worry about it.
Speaker 4:Nana was like you are, who you are.
Speaker 3:Ani-Leah had no problem telling you how things were. She was straightforward.
Speaker 4:I don't know. I can see me and several of the females in this family. All of us intertwined. We all have females in this family. All of us intertwine. We all have a lot of everything from all of us yes. The same some. You know maybe a little here a little there.
Speaker 3:We all break into song, the majority. I know that All of us break into song.
Speaker 4:I think we're really all very similar. Yeah, and when we don't see each other for a long time, we can still get together. And it's like we've just never really been apart, right, we just pick up from where we left off exactly, and that's kind of how it was growing up, though, with the sisters yeah you know, with Nana mom and I mean we've spent many, many times together as a whole like that, which was always fun it was fun how do you out of the, the younger generation, how do y'all feel about hearing that about your aunt Betty?
Speaker 1:I mean, I know you both knew Aunt Betty very well. I would have to agree Any comment from you?
Speaker 4:Skeletor.
Speaker 5:She was a trip? Yeah, she was. I think Aunt Betty and Grandma were together because they were.
Speaker 4:The same but different. Yeah, it was. She and Aunt Betty and Grandma were together because they were the same but different.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it was hard to explain, yeah.
Speaker 4:Well, they were so close you could definitely tell they were sisters, but they were so far apart.
Speaker 5:Right, oh yeah, yeah, aunt Betty, somehow was always with the time. She was with in the moment.
Speaker 4:And Mom kind of stayed back a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we always referred Aunt Betty as the hipster. She was the one with it.
Speaker 4:Your kids are. You can tell who raised which kids, though I mean you can, because mom was a little bit more not strict, but like close, I guess, a little bit like, and I bet he was a little bit more out there.
Speaker 2:So her kids are like they're more out there in drama and like mom, wasn't like that.
Speaker 4:She was kind of like like no, you're going to stay in the house.
Speaker 3:We're not going to let you do anything.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's kind of how we were raised versus how the cousins were raised.
Speaker 1:Now, uh, your cousin Chloe, uh, which is your aunt Leah's daughter, she responded. She gave a very lengthy response. I don't know if I should read the response. Would you be more comfortable reading?
Speaker 4:the response, or would you I'll read?
Speaker 1:it. You would like to read it. Okay, I'm going to have Dominator my wife read the response. This is their cousin. This is their Auntie Leah. Their Auntie Leah has passed away several years now, Another great, powerful woman in this family. And this is the response she has given to the questionnaire about the strong woman in her life.
Speaker 4:Yes, without a doubt, I feel as though I'm a strong and independent woman. I grew up under the influence of my mom, leah White. She survived many challenges, being married to my father Despite his emotional and physical abuse. She fought back many times, often preventing her I'm sorry, often preventing him from abusing her, her kids, me and my brother. Sometimes she would throw herself in the middle and take a beating, allowing us time to escape into the woods. She attempted to leave him many times. However, he always tracked her down, threatening to kill us if she didn't return.
Speaker 4:It takes immense mental strength to endure this type of lifestyle. As there were no domestic violence resources back then. She raised us to think for ourselves and to be genuine and true to self. Despite living in a homophobic society, be who you are and never compromise your integrity for anyone. If you spend your life people-pleasing, you will fail, because there are millions of people. If you focus on being true to yourself, you will succeed, because there is only one of you. A direct quote she told me as a young girl, while trying to navigate life in a homophobic culture she allowed me and encouraged me to be me. She was never hesitant to go against the norm, nor did she force us to either.
Speaker 4:The loss of her son is another example of her strength. She overcame severe depression and carried on with her life. I can only imagine the horrific pain she suffered. She had to fight her depression and care for her other children. Some people gave up not my mom, though she went through a time of self-sabotage, excessive partying. She fought her demons and courageously divorced my dad Best decision she ever made. I was so proud of her always. She was always herself and wore whatever she wanted, despite the many critics. For example, it was clear to me as a child that other mothers just approved of her style. I could feel the eyes upon her as we walked into a parent's night at school with her mini skirt, her go-go boots, low-cut shirt and frosted pink lipstick that was not even most mothers were long, were wore long dresses or dressed rather conservative.
Speaker 4:I can recall women actually whispering to each other and staring at her with obvious disapproval. My mom didn't care. She walked with pride, held, held her head high and did her own thing. I love that about her. After leaving the classroom she would whisper, whisper to me fuck them. She led by example. Though she never was very affectionate with her own kids, she learned to be with her grandkids. Physical affection wasn't her strong suit when I was growing up, but I knew without a doubt she loved me fiercely.
Speaker 4:She told many stories from her childhood and apparently was the rebel in a handful. She was sent to reform school at some point in her life because she gave her mom a hard time. She had incredible determination to do her own thing. She was brutally honest and would tell you her opinion if you asked her. She didn't candy coat anything and just tell you what you wanted to hear. You could rely on getting the truth. This was all during the 50s, 60s and 70s, when the world was very different. I learned to be genuinely myself because of her and never feared rocking a boat or being different. I sported a mohawk in the 70s and also shaved my head. This was unheard of for women at that time. I wore a black leather jacket and rode a motorcycle. Women in that era just didn't do these things. I challenged school authorities all through school and police departments if I thought I was right. I was never afraid to speak my mind or truth. I wasn't influenced by any peers. I always did what I wanted, despite my environment. I tried to take auto mechanics, woodworking, metal shop and school. The school wouldn't allow it. It was because I was a female. I had to take home economics. I petitioned the school board but unfortunately lost.
Speaker 4:As a girl growing up in the 60s, I violated many of society's unspoken expectations and rules. I climbed trees, wrestled with boys, played sports, wore boys underwear and sometimes clothes. My friend's parents cared or cared judgment and labeled me dangerous or weird because I went against the grain. I was considered what society called a tomboy. I left the east coast and went to California. I changed my name because I didn't like it. When I raised my kids, no parents in the 90s dressed like me and passed the same judgment that my mother experienced. I could care less. I did it anyway and truly could care less what people thought of me. I was confident and I knew I was a good human and that's all that mattered. I tried to instill these same values onto my kids. They could agree or disagree with my philosophies without any fear. Despite primarily dating women, I married a man who I fell in love with. People would ask you're a lesbian, why are you marrying a man? I didn't see a person's gender. I saw a human. After he passed away, I started dating again. I fell in love with married a woman.
Speaker 4:I was determined to raise my children in a violent, free environment. At that time, corporal punishment was used to raise kids spanking, etc. I used a talking stick to teach my kids to communicate and be good listeners. They were never spanked. People would say my kids were going to grow up disrespectful and assholes because of my parenting techniques. At that time I didn't listen to anyone. I always did what I felt best and eliminated all the things I despised that my father did.
Speaker 4:When I was a child, I was able to be strong and confident in my beliefs because I was raised by a mom who demonstrated these skills and allowed me to be different. My father, on the other hand, was the opposite. He didn't condone my sexuality but I truthfully didn't care. My mom ensured I didn't listen to his advice. He was a racist bigot with a complete opposite beliefs of my mom. She made sure in her own way that her guidance was more significant to me, even if it meant she had to go behind his back to make sure I didn't follow in his footsteps. Thankfully, my mom was always supportive and proud. I was lucky and always thankful to have her as my role model.
Speaker 1:I don't know about anybody else that was listening, but that's a powerful statement about a person's mother. That's about as powerful as I can get. I thank you Chloe. For that. It touches me. I appreciate it. I want to say a few things now. I'm so very thankful to be a part of this family. It hurts knowing that some of the powerful women have passed on. There's so many more powerful women in this family. I'm going to do my best to name as many as I can with the brain damage that I have Linda, barbara, donna, mona, gaylene, kelly, megan, melissa, cass, mary, cassie, cindy, hannah, anna, amber, amber, who else? Who else can I name? Amy, amy, chloe, crystal, brooke.
Speaker 3:We got a lot of females.
Speaker 1:I know there's more guys. That's the best I can do with a TBI. Oh, allison, allison, I'm doing with a. Tbi oh, allison, allison. I'm doing my best.
Speaker 3:Christina.
Speaker 1:Who.
Speaker 3:Christina.
Speaker 1:Christina, I want to thank all the family on the West Coast in New England, in the Carolinas. This is a powerful family, it really is.
Speaker 3:And in California.
Speaker 1:In California. I said West Coast oh you did.
Speaker 1:I'm very thankful. I want everybody to listen to this podcast to know you should be celebrating the women in your family. It's not done and you should be celebrating them. It's a powerful story. It's a legacy that doesn't get celebrated as much anymore and I think we should document it. It should be a more often we should be talking about the women and the powerful women of our everyday lives. I'm so proud to be a part of this family and I'm glad that I did this podcast. I have no regrets. I have a few things I need to do, a little house cleaning First. I want to say I've got a little shout out I want to do.
Speaker 1:If you're in New England, in the Manchester, new Hampshire area and you're looking for the best pizza around, then you need to go to Pizza man in Manchester. They've got the best pizza. I'm not lying, I swear to you. So go get the pizza. Pizza. I'm not lying, I swear to you. So go get the pizza. What else do we have? Go to Linktree Patrick the Alien. That's where you'll find everything for Fractured Podcasts related. We're almost at 250 downloads. We'll be having a giveaway soon. I promised to drop a couple clues about some upcoming events. We have a big reveal. There's going to be a big change coming real soon. I mean a big change, the next podcast, as a matter of fact. Please spread the word Good things to come and, like always, be good to one another. Thank you.
